Chapter 19: Our Lives

Lillibeth found herself busy cleaning and rearranging things often. She was trying to keep her mind busy; Cameron had been gone for a few months and she missed him terribly. They talked almost every day at the beginning but as his classes got harder and he became busier, they talked about every week. She missed him being by her side; they had not been apart this long ever. She was proud of what he was doing though and she told him that every chance she got. The kids were growing more and more every day. The twins were busy with school and activities if they weren't at home driving her crazy. The triplets were big balls of energy and keeping up with them took the energy of at least two people but she managed. James was a big help and she was thankful for him. He helped the girls with their homework, fed and changed the babies when needed and played games with them, Lilly loved him for that.

"Give it back!" yelled Willow from their bedroom, "Give it back now Amelia!" She continued to yell and scream at her younger sister. "Great, what is it now?" Lilly mumbled under her breathe. "Mom! Amelia keeps taking Harlow!" Willow yelled. Harlow was Willow’s toy bear that she held dear. Her yelling caused the triplets to stir and wake from their nap an hour earlier than Lilly would have liked. Lilly sighed, "Amelia, get out here now." Amelia strolled into the living room while trying to wipe the smile from her face. "Why do you torment your sister like that?" Amelia didn't say anything. "I asked you a question young lady." This was an everyday occurrence with them: Amelia would take something or hide something just to get a rise out of Willow. In addition, every day Amelia would just smirk and laugh it off. Between the two of them and the triplets, Lilly’s strained. The triplets were getting restless, "I got them!" James yelled. Lilly just stared at Amelia, "listen to me when I say this: I'm tired of your little antics. I don't know what is going on with you but this will stop. Do you understand me?"

Amelia just rolled her eyes and walked away. Her mother had to admit, that child pushed all her buttons and she was not making things easy lately. Lilly figured it was because Cameron was gone. James was helpful to them all but he was busy with work lately with the recent break-ins. She just sighed and went to help with the babies. Wyatt was on the floor with his bottle while the other two whined and fussed in their cribs. "I'm coming Rora and you too Bryson." she told them. James picked up Bryson and snuggled the little tyke. The triplets were Wyatt, the oldest, Bryson is the youngest boy and Aurora is the youngest of all the Palmer children. They were all spunky and had their own personalities. Bryson was more rambunctious, stubborn and active; he apparently got that from Cameron. Wyatt was very timid and quiet; he was easily content with a few blocks and a bottle. Aurora was one that needed to be watched closely. Look away long enough she would be out in the yard if you were not careful. They were a handful together but were adorable.

***

The kids were finally in bed, James was in his room reading and Lilly could relax for a little bit. As she listened to the empty silence that filled their home, she could not help but start to cry. She missed her husband as she replayed their last conversation two days before in her head. "Hey honey! I'm sorry I hadn't called in a couple of days. These professors do not give you a break at all some times. Studying, studying and even more studying.” he told her. "It's okay. I’ve just been busy with the kids; they all miss you a lot.  When will you be home?" she asked with sorrow in her voice. "It's still a couple more months.  I'll be home soon though I promise Lilly." he reassured her. Before she could respond to him he said, "Honey I have to hurry up and go. I love you all!!" then the dial tone. She sighed and tried to fight back the tears that were stinging her eyes. "I love you too…" she whispered. 

"Why don't you go out for a bit?" James said breaking the silence. "I don't know." she mumbled.  He sighed, "I know things haven't easy with Cameron being gone. I know they are harder than you thought they would be but you cannot mope around here all the time. Take some time for yourself, go to the spa, go OUT!" he said sternly. Lilly knew he was right. If she did not get out, she would go crazy. “Alright. Do you mind watching the kids?” she asked. He just looked at her with a raised eyebrow. “Right of course you don’t.” She said with a gentle smile.

Lilly chose to head to one of the local bars, “A glass of anything strong would be really good right about now.” She felt like she needed some to calm her nerves with all of this anxiety getting to her. Lilly walked into the bar which seemed to rather empty and went to the bar to order a drink. As she sat and sipped on her drink she wondered if this stress would ever go away; it was as if she could not shake it or was being buried by it and struggling to breathe. She was enjoying her drink and was about to order another one when she heard a familiar voice. “Haven’t seen you in a while.” said the voice. It was Jason Porter. “Look who’s talking." She smiled. Jason took the seat next to her, “How have you been?” he asked. Lilly thought about it for a second, “I’ve been better to be honest." A frown came across Jason’s face. Lilly filled him in on the situation. As they talked she wondered why Cameron was so against him.

Jason also filled Lilly on his life since he dropped off the face of the earth. His father in fact disowned him. Jason struggled with gambling and other things that got in the way of the family business. Jason spent a lot of time getting help and getting back into his father’s good graces. He was slowly but surely getting back on his feet. “I can’t believe Cameron would leave you to care for five kids.” Jason complained while still trying to use his Old Jason Porter charm. “Well to fair we didn’t find out about the triplets until before he left. Our lives are full of surprises like that.” She replied. “Still though, I wouldn’t have left. I couldn’t have.” He told her. She told him how she convinced him to go and how James came to live with them to help. 

 After a couple of drinks they decided to play a few rounds of pool. Lilly was enjoying herself. It had been a while since she had been out without a baby or two in tow. She laughed at Jason's corny jokes and enjoyed another drink. An hour later Jason approached her with that devilish smile that only Cameron had really seen. Lilly could tell he had consumed his fill of alcohol. "Listen, I'm really enjoying myself. What do you say we continue the fun at my place?" he asked. Lilly's smile quickly turned to a frown, "Um. Thanks for the offer Jason but I'm going to have to decline. I may be a bit tipsy but I'm alert enough to know I don't want to make that mistake." she tried to say with a smile but he was starting to make her skin crawl. Jason's face turned in an instant as he grabbed her by the arm.

 Jason was silent for a second, “What exactly do you see in him?” The question took Lilly by surprise, “What do you mean?” Was he really asking her this? “I don’t know. For a long time I thought you two just weren’t a perfect fit.” He confessed. Lilly took a second to think about what to say next. “ I honestly don’t think it really matters what you think. You’re on the outside looking in. Cameron may not be perfect, hell I’m not perfect but we’re human.” She paused, “out of all the humans on this earth I truly believe Cameron was meant for me and vice versa; that “cosmic connection” if you will. He’s smart, whether he thinks so or not, he’s loving, caring and sensitive. He’s the father of my children and I wouldn't trade him for anyone. But why am I explaining this to you? Listen Jason, thanks for the drinks. Whatever it is you’re looking for or trying to find, I hope you succeed. I think it’s time for me to head home. Cameron was right about you. Oh and another thing..." she leaned in close to him, "If you ever touch me again they'll never find your body." She gave him a pat on the shoulder, “Take care.” Lilly smiled and left Jason Porter at the bar holding his ego and a little afraid.

***

The next day Lilly took James’ suggestion and went to get some much needed pampering. As she made it back home her phone rang, it was Cameron. “Hey honey!” she answered eagerly. “Hey you! Figured I’d call to check up on you and the kids. How are things?” he asked. “The twins are argumentative as always and the babies and growing more and more every moment it seems.” She gave a relaxed and contented sigh. “I can’t wait to see them again. I look at their pictures every day.” Cameron got quiet for a second, “ I know things haven’t been easy for you, for any of us really, these past few months. I want you to know that it will all be okay, I promise you. I love you and I want you to remember that. I’ll call back later on this evening after my class.” He told her. “OK. I love you too. Talk to you later.” She replied. At that moment, it felt like a weight was lifted off her shoulders, even if just for a little bit. She smiled and headed into the house.  

The kids were inside playing as James was reading. “Whoa, look at you. Nice hair cut!” he said. Lilly smiled, “Yea I thought I could use a change.” “Well it looks really good on you.” James replied. As the kids played and James went back to fixing things around the house, Lilly decided to rest on the couch. The last few months had been stressful. She cried herself to sleep most nights. She missed her husband; she missed way things were before their lives became so hectic. Lilly felt guilty for feeling this way but she knew it was common to think about what life was like without the kids. She glanced at Wyatt as he played with his xylophone, Bryson played with the blocks, Rora played with her bear and she could hear the twins bickering in the background. When she thought about it, the lives they had when they first moved to Starlight Shores was great but the life they had now felt: Complete. Lilly gave a contented sigh, "I wouldn't trade that for anything in the world." She smiled and joined Wyatt on the floor. "I wouldn't change a thing about our lives."

*End of Chapter 19*

Coming up: Chapter 20: Bonds